Friday, August 26, 2011

From the Diaries... - Part 5

Wife (after a quarrel): "I was a fool when I married you!"
Husband: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice!"

Man-1: "My credit card is stolen but I am not going to report it!"
Man-2: "Why?"
Man-1: "The thief is spending much less than my wife did!"

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?". The father replied, "I don't know son, I am still paying!".

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late!".

A man places an ad in the classifieds: "Wife Wanted!". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine!".

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget once.

Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction.
- Antoine de Saint Exepury

Love is the desire to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems it cannot come true unless man cooperates.
- Stella Terrill Mann

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
- John Mason

Most people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
- T S Elliot

If you speak the truth, you do not need to remember what you said last time.

The chain is as strong as its weakest link.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Pay attention or pay the price.

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat and wrong.
- H L Mencken

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than an hour. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a god and a man.
- Mark Twain

You never fail until you stop trying.

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process.".

Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed leg (left). At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.". The group was called Beatles.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency, told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married.". She went on and became Marilyn Manroe. In 1954, Jimmy Denny, Manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' anywhere (nowhere)... son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck.". He went on to become the most popular singer in America named Elvis Pesley.

The finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Nothing impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

Team work means more 'we' and less 'me'.

Nice guys finish last.

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